My husband....loves tights on women. You would think because I know this that I'd wear them all the time but I don't need that kind of trouble. I'd never get anything done because he'd be all over me all the time.
Yesterday, I was Christmas Shopping at Target (by myself) and as I was leaving the building the woman ahead of me had on the most adorable outfit! I chased her across the parking lot trying to take a picture of her but she was walking super fast. I guess her boots where made for walking.
All day...I couldn't stop thinking about that outfit and I decided to try and put one together for myself. Here's what I came up with. What do you think?
iKeith and I love to watch movies! We each have our favorite genre...I love romance, drama and comedy, he likes sci-fi, thrillers and zombie movies. I also have become interested in Indie Films since I started watching the Academy Awards last year. iKeith is such a good sport and will generally watch them with me...even though he doesn't like them. He has recently been subjected to The Kids Are All Right and Nine.
So...once in a while, I'll watching one of his sci-fi movies when I'm feeling sorry for him...like when he's sick. This last weekend was one of these times and he selected a movie called Monsters that was a 'before it hits theaters' offer for $6.99 on iTunes. Note: beware of these....I suspect the films aren't really going to theaters and someone is trying to make a buck. Or seven.
He Said:
This weekend, I watched the a preview of an upcoming sci-fi thriller Monsters Movie 2010. It is a British production where a man sent by his supervisor to ensure the daughter of their mutual employer returns to the United States from Mexico. There is one catch, Mexico has been invaded by extra-terrestrial aliens that are over one hundred meters tall. Both Mexico and the United States have joined forces to militarily eradicate the Earth of these unwanted invaders.
As the story quickly unfolds, the man and the woman arrange for the woman to board a ferry back to the U.S. The sexual tension between the two is too much for the man to handle and he finds the comfort of some lady of the night when the woman refuses to let him stay the night. This leads to him getting robbed and losing the woman's passport and ticket abroad the ferry. So of course, their only alternative is to trade the woman's engagement ring for passage back to the United States via a spine-tingling journey with nefarious characters and border coyotes through the dreaded infected zone.
I won't say much more about the plot, just in case you really want to watch this monstrosity, but perhaps I can dissuade you from wasting your time. The movie seems to be a metaphor for the horrors that are incurred when poor Mexicans risk all they have to find a better life in the United States by crossing the boarder illegally. The message seems to be that a wall will not stop the flow of aliens (illegal or extra-terrestrial,) so why bother. Regardless, the movie lacks on many levels and ends in a strange and bewildering way.
The tension seems contrived and seemed to borrow from Jurassic Park, Heart of Darkness (Apocalypse Now) and the Hurt Locker. But, the Jurassic Park scene fails because the movie is filmed in a quasi-documentary style (ala Hurt Locker.) Therefore, we as viewers know nothing terrible will really happen to the protagonists. The ride up the river in a war zone, reminiscent of Apocalypse Now, ends in a yawn with the underlying message of, "Why can't we just all get along."
If I were rating this movie on a scale of one to five with a clever unit of measurement based upon something from the movie, I would give it one tentacle probing the television set. It simply is not worth the money to see in the theaters.
She Said:
Monsters was billed as a science fiction romance drama so I agreed to watch it. My first clue that this wasn't going to turn out well, was when I saw what the lead character Sam was wearing. Short shorts, a fancy tank top and some fugly booties with wool socks.
I don't know what Sam was doing in Mexico and they never tell us but I find it hard to believe that a spoiled little rich girl would go to Alien infested Mexico without a purse and a jacket. Something tells me she wasn't there for the tequila! Somehow...she manages to find a spot for her passport (her undies?) and later a nice Mexican woman gives her a bag to hold all of her stuff.
There is some chemistry between Sam and the guy whose name I can't remember but I found out later it's because they are married in real life. She likes him, but rebuffs him and then he gets drunk and sleeps with someone else and she gets mad. If I had a dollar for every time this has happened to me...I'd have had this movie paid for.
Long boring story short...the US rocket (they stole a pic of the Ares-I launch) breaks apart over Mexico with Alien matter in it. They take over Mexico and cause havoc each time a US plane flies over. The Aliens hate the US. Andrew works for Sam's Daddy Warbucks and he's ordered to get her home safely. This movie chronicles the journey and many obstacles to get her home.
At one point...Sam and Andy watch two aliens make love and then go their separate ways without exchanging digits. Is there such as thing as an alien booty call?
So many unanswered questions!! I want to know what the hell Sam was doing in Alien infested Mexico and why she was running away from home. I want to know what she was doing when she got picked up by the Army in the very first scene. I hate this movie!
I give it 1/2 of an expensive diamond engagement ring!
Today, Jade wants to know which places have meant something to me this year. I love this prompt because I had so many changes this year that it gave me a chance to reflect on what I cherish about my time in Utah and the joy of coming home! It also made me miss my friends terribly!
1. My house in Utah.....even though we didn't fit in with the locals and only a few neighbors talked to us, it was our home for almost 4 years. It was my daughter's first home, she learned to walk, talk and ride her little pink bike there. I made amazing meals in the gourmet kitchen and we were happy.
2. Concepts Coffee in North Ogden Utah...this was the local coffee shop where I would meet my friends for play dates. It was a friendly, comfortable place and our children loved it!
3. Riverdale Park in Riverdale Utah...this is the park that my kids and I would meet my friend Monica and her kids for play dates. I met Monica our first week in Utah when we were both living in the hotel. We discovered that our husbands were both going to work for the same company. Monica was a lifeline for me in Utah. Ironically...we also moved out of Utah within 2 week of each other. We joke that we got early release from prison!
4. Sonoma Grill in Ogden Utah....date nights for me and my man were rare because we didn't have family nearby and every time we hired the little Mormon girl across the street....the Missionaries would start showing up again. But at the Sonoma Grill Bar....we could enjoy a cocktail and some food and feel like we were NOT in Utah. It was our place.....
5. Curious Theater in Denver Colorado....I talked about this the other day because it was the place I felt alive. Since that day on my 40th birthday, I've been there for another performance...this time Astronomical Sunset. This place feels special to me. I love how I feel when I'm there and it really is just a beautiful theater made out of an old church.
6. Lakewood Colorado...Yes, the entire city! iKeith grew up here and this is where he feels at home. We bought and made our first home together in Lakewood. Our son was born and spent his first 4 months in this town. We're home....
7. Lockwood Lake in Lakewood Colorado....this lake is right behind my apartment and it's were I spent many, many early mornings walking right after we moved here. My children also love this lake and iKeith has taken them on many Adventure Walks there.
8. My In Laws House in Lakewood Colorado...my in laws and brother in law Andrew are moving to California in less than a month. I'm upset that now that we finally have come home...they are leaving. I'm sad for my children that are going to miss them all so much and I'm pissed that I'm losing my free babysitter. This house is Nana's House to my kids. My heart hurts for what this means for them.
9. Red Rocks Amphitheater in Morrison Colorado....climbing the stairs at Red Rocks was on my list of 40 things to do before my 40th birthday and my dear friend Denise came with me. Getting to the top and seeing the view was exhilarating and I think about that day all the time!
10. San Francisco...deciding to have iKeith attend the World Wide Developers Conference and hopefully find a job was the first step in bringing us home to Colorado. We also made a vacation (I called it the Eat Pay Love Tour) out of it because we knew that it would be a long time before we could take another vacation together like this again. It was an amazing, relaxing and fun week! San Francisco will always be our place....
Our elves...Vincent and Poe arrived yesterday! (Click HERE to read about last year's first week with the elves...it's hilarious!) Santa drops them off everyone year on December 1st so that they can keep a close eye on what's going on here. I kind of dropped the ball and forgot to inform Santa that we'd moved to Colorado so I send him a quick email the other day. The kids were upset with me that I'd let this detail slip by.
The kids had been up for about an hour...watching TV on the couch when I told them to hurry to the kitchen because I found something! The Advent Box!
I told them if it was here...then the elves must be too! Mallory ran to the living room and spotted them right away in their sled. The were so excited that Alex exclaimed OH MY HECK!
I'm sad to report that Mallory has already found herself on the naughty list. She threw away a MEGAMIND toy that belongs to Alex because she lost hers and she decided if she can't have one then he can't either. And then...she stole candy out of the Advent Box. Now there will be no candy on December 16 and the 20th. Little stinker.
I've got all kinds of activities planned for this month! One of the great things about living in Denver is that there is tons of stuff to do. This Friday night...we're going to the Parade of Lights! The last time I attended the parade was in 1986. I hope the kids love it as much as I did.
What have you got planned for this month? Find out what Liz and her family are doing here!
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!
A couple years ago I participated in an Easter Swap and Robert arrived from Denver right after the package did. We began unwrapping the goodies when I came across something very unusual for a Easter Basket.
Lingerie.
But not a tasteful nighty or a conservative nightgown.
I naughty stringy thing that said One Size Fits MOST.
iKeith has a long holiday weekend coming up...so I'm going to take a few days off from blogging. I'll still be tweeting...so now would be an excellent time to join twitter...those of you that aren't already addicted. Follow me.
Tuesday...I'll be posting the next installment of The Connie Diaries. Please click on the tab under my header if you need to catch up. Until then...I leave you with Adventures with Robert: Furniture Shopping
A couple weeks ago....I went furniture shopping with my brother in law Robert. He's just finishing up remodeling his townhouse and he has one room that needs a couch. He asked for my help because I am so freakin talented and helpful. And modest.
Meet Robert!
The first couch he showed me was boring! Knit Knots boring. And it looked exactly like the couch we had that the mouse ate back in Utah. I talked him out of it.
This chair....reminded me of an electric chair. It was totally uncomfortable and too expensive.
Modern Electric Chair
I fell in deep, deep love with this is couch. I could curl up for days, watching soaps and Oprah and eating bon bons! iKeith thinks it looks like a bed. He likes firm, leather, uncomfortable couches. He also likes the electric chair chair.
Connie's Dream Couch
We were sitting on a couch discussing his options when the saleswoman came over to talk to us and assumed that we were a couple. This happens to us all the time, but the last time was in Utah at a model home. The poor woman mistook Robert for my husband and iKeith for the kids Grandpa.
I'm not showing you the couch we picked out because it's a surprise. Robert has hired me to plan his Open House/Housewarming/Christmas Party and I'll have the big reveal next month.
*This could end up being a regular feature...Adventures with Robert. What do you think? You like it?
Children are likely to live up to what you believe in them.
-- Ladybird Johnson
Yesterday, iKeith and I went to an informational meeting at a charter school that we might like the kids to attend. I've been dreading this day because it's the first step in me having to admit that my baby is growing up and will be going to Kindergarten soon.
I'm not ready to admit this. At all.
I expressed my apprehension to my husband as we were walking up to the school and he told me that I should be excited for this next step in our lives because it means more free time for me.
As I fought back tears...I told him that I should be, but I'm not.
We walked into the library, 10 minutes early and got the last two seats a tables that were in the center of the room. By the time the meeting started...there were at least 80 parents there and it was standing room only. (this is one of three meetings before open enrollment)
iKeith was irritated at the seats that I had selected....in the very front of the room. I explained to him that it showed that we were interested and serious....not the slacker parents at the back. Speaking of slackers...we had to sign in and write down what grade we were interested in. Ten people signed ahead of me and they all shorted the word to KINDER. I don't do things half assed so I wrote to WHOLE word. KINDERGARTEN. Our table ended up being the sign in table and everyone wrote the whole word after I did. I thought this was kind of funny.
Thoughts on the school:
They have excellent test scores. As in, damn near perfect! They do whole class teaching with no ability groups. Keith thought their slide presentation was horrible. They have a great art and music program. If a student is falling behind, they pull them out for extra instruction. 70-76% is a D. Last year 270 students applied for 40 available slots. The school is small. It's picked by a random lottery. If by some miracle, Alex gets selected...then Mallory automatically gets to go when she starts school.
Do you feel lucky? I don't.
We walked around the school peeking in and observing classrooms and I had to leave. I'm so not ready for this yet! Also...you could smell the competitiveness on all of the parents in that room. We were all checking each other out...wondering if we'd end up in the PTA together in a year or if we'd be one of the one's who aren't going to make the cut.
When we picked the kids up from Nana's house, Alex asked how the Dinosaur School was and when he could start! HA! And then it hit me. Damn Nana is moving to California and now I won't have anyone to watch Mallory so I can volunteer at the school! This is what I'm going to call her now. Damn Nana.
Alex starts school in 9 months, 5 days (and 37 minutes as I'm writing this). I've got to get a grip here! I can't sit here crying every single time I think about him going to school. Keith just laughs at me and tells me I act like I'm sending him to boarding school...or to the Army. OH GOD ALEX DON'T GO TO THE ARMY!
You're little hands wrapped around my finger
And, it's so quiet in the world tonight
You're little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So, I tuck you in
Turn on your favorite night light
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I had, honey
If you could stay like that
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up
It can stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, and never grow up
As soon as I found out about the party, and that iKeith wanted me to dress up...I started going through all my dresses and trying to figure out what to wear. I sent out tweets, emails and facebook messages asking what color shoes to wear and I didn't eat carbs for three days so that I'd look really good in my dress.
This would be a good time to tell you that iKeith didn't pick out his outfit until 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave the apartment and this made us 20 minutes late.
On Saturday afternoon, as I was getting ready for the party, I realized that I've kind of let myself go. I can clean up pretty well for an outing with the kids or to go to Target but this level of attention had not been attempted in a while. It took me a long time to shave my legs and I think I plugged the shower drain. It's possible that this kind of thing should be done more than every six months.
I also needed to paint my toe nails since I'd be wearing open toed shoes....but first I had to scrape off a 6 month old pink flower that had been painted on my toe nails the last time I got a pedicure.
My hair....I colored it myself and all the grey did not get covered up. I hoped for soft lighting and drunk party guests that wouldn't notice.
I really needed a brow shaping but I ran out of time.
All in all, my transformation from Stay at Home Mom to Trophy Wife took 2.5 hours and 2 glasses of wine.
I really shouldn't have worried because no one noticed my grey hair, eyebrows or the fact that I'd shaved my legs because the only thing people looked at was my giant boobs!
There was one guy....I'm not sure how much he'd had to drink...but he thought I was from California and was obviously smitten with me. Or my (*)(*).
All of this made me realize that I should be spending a little more time on my general high maintenance, because I really do believe that iKeith deserves the Trophy Wife that he married.
I'm soooooo blessed! When people ask me why I blog...this is why. I know awesome people on the internet. I wish I could force you all to move to Denver and live on the same street with me. Can you imagine the block party we could have? I'd bring this pie.
The last few days I've felt like you all have formed a circle around me. Supporting me and offering me hugs. I feel so loved! Thank you again.
So...my friend Cari sent me a link to a kids clothing website today and she said that there was a picture of Alex on it. It's crazy but this kid looks just like him! Well...like he did a year ago.
You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. ~ Carrie Bradshaw
I have the most amazing friends. I want to thank all of you that commented on my post and sent me emails on Friday. I've read all of the messages at least 50 times and written at least 10 pages in my journal.
You all had such great things to say and the overwhelming message was...no one has the right to dictate what I can write about. This is my life and as long as I'm not naming names....I should be able to use this blog as my journal, therapy and way of staying in contact with my friends.
On Friday...I sent emails to the people in my life that I'm having a disagreement with and made all my feelings known. We are at an impasse. I am not willing to negotiate because ultimately....I'm protecting the wellbeing of my children and myself.
These last few years of fighting, struggle and disagreement have been really hard on me. I've gained weight, I'm not sleeping and I can't be the best Mother and Wife to my family with this going on.
I barely lived through having a relationship with an alcoholic (my second husband) and I refuse to do it again. It might be different if it was just me....but there are two little lives to consider. In fact, I'm the only one that's worried for them. My job is to give them the best life. I take that very seriously!
As of today, I'm putting the past behind me. This issue that I'm not allowed to blog about is too serious for me to back down, and I can't put anymore energy or time into it. My children deserve to have a happy, relaxed and fully present Mommy.
Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be. ~ Carrie Bradshaw
Thank you for helping me realize that all I have to be is me. And that if other people don't like it...they can suck it like a juice box!
ME
I've changed my hair, my clothes, almost
Everything about myself
I can't believe I tried to be somebody I'm not
For someone else, yeah
It took finding you to finally understand
What it's like to be loved for who I am
Me
That's all I have to give
What you get is what you see, yeah
No second guessing, no pretending
With you, all I ever have to be is me
I can laugh or cry, don't have to hide
The way I feel
Rain or shine, by my side proving we've got
A love that's real
An old pair of jeans or an evening gown
You still see the same girl that you found
Me
That's all I have to give
What you get is what you see, yeah
No second guessing, no pretending
With you, all I ever have to be is me
Me
That's all I have to give
What you get is what you see, yeah
No second guessing, no pretending
With you, all I ever have to be is me
All I ever need to be, oh yeah
All I ever have to be is me
I'm a good person...and if you don't like it... you can suck it like a juice box! ~ Amber
In the 3 years that I've been blogging.....I've always prided myself on being honest and not sugar coating anything. I think readers appreciate when you are sharing a part of yourself and I believe that's why I've made so many friends.
When I have shared many parts of my life, I protect the innocent guilty by not using their names or faces. You all don't really know my family, where they live or what they do. It's not like you'd walk down the street and run into them.
This blog has been a form of therapy for me. Much, much needed therapy because my life isn't all rainbows and lolly pops.
I've shared so much of myself here and I've appreciated all of the support so much. Being able to come HERE to talk to my friends and write things out. I've shared the good, the bad and the ugly.
I can't do that anymore. Someone has a problem with it. (P.S. it's not my husband)
All my life I've struggled to be myself. But that has never been good enough. I didn't become a pilot, I didn't go to the Air Force Academy, I didn't become an Air Traffic Controller. I really wanted to be a hair dresser....that wasn't good enough.
Over the years, I haven't been enough for other people either and they've tried to change my speech, my clothes and my attitude.
I just want to be myself but I can't do that here. People are watching.
I will still be posting but it won't be personal. I don't know what it will be really? I'm still trying to figure out how I can be me without upsetting people.
This is the last time that you'll be hearing from The Real Me....
For many years now....I've been trying to put this broken plate back together. I'm good at crafts and I'm a perfectionist so I try really hard and I use good glue. It seems like it's going back together and I'm hopeful that it's going to hold.
Parts of the plate have been missing but they show back up again and the pieces fit back together but there are piece that shattered and little slivers that are gone that make it not fit right. Pieces that I'll never get back.....
Another part of the plate seems to fit back together but the glue becomes weak and the piece keeps falling off...no matter how I try to get it to fit. Each time it comes off...it's harder to put back in.
Finally. I realize that the plate is just broken and it can't be fixed. But I can't figure out if I should just put it in a box or throw it in the trash.
It actually hurts my heart to look at this plate and know that I can't fix it.
It was a beautiful, warm and sunny 71 degrees in Denver yesterday! Crazy weather for November in Colorado but I'll take it. One thing we missed about living here was the abondance of sunshine. Even though it will snow and be cold...it's sunny!
We're likely going to get our first snow this week so now i'm thinking about Boots!
Aren't these so cute with the fur on the front? I bet The Pioneer Woman would love them! Lucky Brand Eve .
This little Nine West Kybele Ankle Boot is so cute! I'd love to wear it with a pair of jeans and a nice bulky sweater.
Have you seen the commercials for the new Miraculous Push-Up bra? iKeith has....and he took me to Victoria Secret last night and bought one of them for me. Holy Boob Job! He also bought me a gym membership....I love this man!
I tried this one on and immediately felt like going hunting. So I bought the beige one. KitNots would be proud.
*I was not compensated by Piperlime or Victoria Secret for this post....I just like to talk about fashion.*
We're always on the lookout for fun weekend activities. This week is Denver Arts Week and this year they had a great idea for a scavenger hunt! We're hoping to win one of 14 wonderful prizes so we hauled the children downtown to photographer ourselves in front of some of Denver's landmarks.
We split up into two teams! Mallory and I were Team Artsy Fartsy and I'm sorry to say that we had a subpar photographer. I don't know what iKeith was doing...but most of our shots are blurry. For more of our photos click here.
Alex and iKeith were team Art Smart Blart and Cart. I have not idea what this means but this is what happens when you let a 4 year old pick your team name.
There is a long list of activities and we had to pick 6 of these and post them on the Visit Denver Facebook Page. If you think you will ever be visiting Denver....LIKE their page. Tons of great info.
We did all kinds of fun things like joining a herd of buffalo on the 16th Street Mall, singing with a local street musician, sipping a Colorado-brewed beer at Wynkoop Brewing Co, checking our watch at Lannie's Clocktower*, visiting the Ballpark Museum and posing like the Big Blue Bear at the Convention Center.
Checking my watch....
What's that Bear Looking at?
The kids had a great time and we got lots of exercise in the bright Colorado sunshine! We even found a new favorite restaurant...Colorado's First Brew Pub,Wynkoop Brewing Co. I had the pleasure of drinking a beer called Wixa Weiss and eating the best kids Mac and Cheese I've ever had! Details on The Rookie Foodie coming this week.
*******************
iKeith is on Facebook now. He kept telling me that he needed a FB login for his app testing and then I wanted him to enter this Denver Arts Week Contest with me and he needed to be able to post pictures on their fan page. So he told me to go ahead and set it up.
I've been very happy with his lack of interest in Facebook because even though it doesn't look like it....this man was a player! I was not interested in all of his old girlfriends friending him and talking about the old times. I have zero interest in having to step up my game in the bedroom so that he's not interested in meeting up with some old flame.
It took exactly 24 hours for one of them to find him and friend him. sigh
So....for all the girls iKeith has loved before....this song is for you!
* I haven't worn a watch since 2004. I have a cell phone...why do I need a watch. It is also my alarm clock. Steve Jobs....I love you!
I had a dream the other night that I was standing on a mountain top. The view was incredible and there was a cool breeze blowing. I closed my eyes and just took in big gulps of fresh air.
When I opened my eyes I saw some members of my family just a few feet away. I started to step forward but the ground began to crack in front of me. I called to them to step forward, to come closer to me but they just stepped back...further and further away.
Soon the crack became so thick and the wind began to blow and my yells for them to save themselves were drowned out.
The earth dropped away and I screamed!
They were gone.
I looked behind me and my husband and children were there. They held their arms out and embraced me in a hug. We held each other tight and my husband whispered in my ear...I'm here for you. I'll stand with you.
This morning I heard this song.
STAND
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh
This morning as I was drinking my coffee and watching Playhouse Disney...I checked twitter and saw BREAKING NEWS that a NASA facility in Cleveland was under a lock down situation and that reports of a gunman on the loose where being thrown about.
My first thoughts were....I knew this was going to happen. I just knew at some point some disenchanted, dislocated and depressed former aerospace worker that was jacked around by the changes in the space program....was going to snap.
This morning I posted about the new ABC show called Skating with the Stars. It's from the same people that have brought Dancing with the Stars into our living rooms for the last 5 years. It has a huge following so why not expand that franchise in the same way that The Bachelor has gone on to bring us The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad.
It got me thinking about what other shows we can expect to see in the future. Here are a few ideas:
