The Bad Guy

I'm really tired of being the bad guy all the time. I don't know if it's because of my strong personality and that I ooze common sense...but I'm always having to tell people no.  I'm rarely wrong and I have a way of doing things which is usually the most efficient.  This must be what Martha Stewart has to deal with all the time.

I'm the bad guy with my parents because I don't tolerate their toxic behavior.  I'm guessing this is why I've been disowned twice in 2 years.

I'm the bad guy with my in-laws because I don't like them taking over my life and I don't accept their ridiculous ideas.  No...I really don't want 4 houseguest while I'm moving.  Thanks anyway.

And now...I'm the bad guy with Mallory.  She decided yesterday that she doesn't want to move to Denver.  She wants to live with Bobbi.  And why wouldn't she...Bobbi never has to tell her no.  She buys her anything she wants and gives her Cherry Coke and candy. I want to live with Bobbi too!




Move Update:

Days Til Move: 9
Boxes Packed: 40
Martinis Drank: 5
Ativan Taken: 3
Little chocolate donuts eaten: 20
Pissed In-laws family members: 3
Children that don't want to move: 1
Friend Goodbyes:  3
House Viewings: 7

I love Mad Men

Before I talk about the show...I wanted to ask you a huge favor. See this picture? This is Matt...wife of Jen from Harried Mom of Four and he wants to win a walk on roll on the hit TV show Mad Men. Please click HERE and vote for him.

Doesn't he look perfect for the show? 

Last year I heard all kinds of buzz about Mad Men and then I discovered that it had been on TV for two seasons already so I ordered the DVD's from Netflix and I was hooked! I watched them every chance I got and by the time the third season arrived...I was ready!

I've been anxiously awaiting the return of this show and last night was the big night. I even got iKeith to watch with me and he wants MORE.  I love Don Draper and Betty is my idol....I'm so pissed that they are divorced and that she married someone else.

My other favorite character is Joan who we did not see enough of last night. Pete Campbell reminds of my old boss at the collection agency and I love how he's always trying to save the pitch when things go wrong.  Have you ever had Chicken Kiev?  Is it messy?  I think I want to make it for next week's show.

I don't want to spoil last night's episode for people that haven't seen it...so I'll leave a few of my thoughts in the comments section.

Are you a fan? Did you watch last night? What did you think?


If you haven't seen the show and are curious or you watched last night and are now lost...this site explains the characters well.

Move Information

Days Til Move:  11
Boxes Packed:  33
Martinis Drank: 3
Ativan Taken:  3
Little chocolate donuts eaten:  20
Pissed In-laws family members:   3

NO MORE DRAMA

WOW!  This week is going to go down in history as being the worst one ever!  I'm pretty sure that my MOTHER disowned me (again) in an hate mail email this morning.  I didn't even do anything this time!  Damned if I do and damned if I don't.  In the words of my 3 year old...

I QUIT!

Seriously...I give up.  I can't do this anymore.

EDITED:  THANK YOU MightyM for the song.  This is so freakin perfect because Young and Restless theme music is in the song and Bobbi and I call our parents Victor and Nikki!  All morning I've been calling them The Volturi and my mother....Jane.  LOL!



And now back to our regularly scheduled programing.....


Every now and again...someone comes to my blog from googling my name. I always like to see what state or country they are coming from in case an  bill collector old boyfriend or friend is looking for me.

Have you ever googled your name? I know I'm not the only Connie Weiss in the world but I really hope that when someone is looking for me they don't think the number two blog that comes up in google is me.

Because I don't kill animals.

Move Information

Days Til Move:  14

Boxes Packed:  32

Martinis Drank: 3

Ativan Taken:  2

Little chocolate donuts eaten:  7 

Pissed In-laws family members:   4 

Fan Mail

Last night....there was drama. iKeith's family is mad at me and I'm just going to own it.  I put my foot down and I'm not looking back. People will just have to deal.

So...I was so very happy when I got some fan email today...from Tiffany.  I wanted to share it with you because, well...I just wanted you all   iKeith to know how much other people like me.  And would you look at that...she'd want to be my friend if I moved to Dallas. 

I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you and the fact that you blog on a extremely regular basis!!! You always make me laugh and put a smile on my face!! I just love you!!!

I am really glad that everything worked out with your husbands new job and the move to Denver. Although it would have been nice if yall came to Dallas but I know your heart is in Denver! The other girl I work with is a huge Bronco fan so I have to put up with her mouth and it will be getting worse soon lol!! To make matters worse shes a Dallas Cowboy Hater!!!!

Hope your packing is going well. I do not envy you with that at all!!

Thank you so much Tiffany! You made my entire day!

Move Information

Days Til Move: 16

Boxes Packed: 32

Martinis Consumed: 3

Ativan Taken:  0

Pissed In-laws: 2

Past My Prime

iKeith and I went out to dinner for our Anniversary the other night and we talked about *the move*. If I'd know that this would end up being a touchy subject I would have banned all talk of moving and only talked about love and light and stuff like that.

I was trying to tell my darling husband that I'm looking forward to making tons of friends since my religious beliefs won't be a condition of friendship and since most normal people love me.

It was then that he snickered at me and informed me that I am PAST MY PRIME and will not find many friends since most women of my advanced maternal age have grandkids...not preschoolers.

Then he reminded me that I'm going to be turning 40 in a couple weeks. (7.5 weeks...but who's counting)

The next day someone found my blog by googling I'm No Spring Chicken Anymore.

I then decided that age is just a number and you are only as old as you feel.  I feel 25.  For reals, YO! The next thing I did was download a bunch of Justin Bieber songs to my iPhone and bought some clothes from Forever 21.  My ass is now hanging out of my pants but I heard that's cool.

I'm planning to grow out my Mom Hair and get some blonde highlights, wear a whole bunch of necklaces at the same time, add the word like to my vocabulary and trade in my Armada for a Jeep. If I have to...I'll get botox.

I might also have to trade in my husband.  JUST KIDDING.

While we're on the subject....more things that people googled to find me.

• I dream of a world where people eat rainbows and fart butterflies.
• How to throw an Eat, Pray Love Party.
• 10 ways to stave off boredom.
• Drinking Games
• Young Fat Dancing Men
• How to Escape from Utah.
• can u burn fat while sleeping after 2 shots of tequila
• stop googling symptoms
• strict mommy 

I think these are all great blog post ideas! Don't you?

To see exactly how people find your blog...sign up for Stat Counter.

Move Information

Days Til Move: 17

Boxes Packed: 25

Martinis Consumed: 2

Update on Moving...18 days to go

The last week of my life is a blur.

I've had my second to last dental appointment, iKeith had a root canal, I cleaned my house from top to bottom and only packed 6 boxes.  I attended a farewell dinner for Keith and did shots of Underground (it's like Jagger).  I sold some of my stuff and got my hair cut.

And Mallory started riding her bike. 

Last week the realtor that we rent our house from called and wanted to show the house to some people. I panicked because I wanted the house to look good so that they could re-rent it and we'd get more money back and because MY LANDLORD WAS COMING!

It might as well have been Martha Stewart because I spent 5 hours cleaning and organizing. And then I didn't want to pack anything because everything was PERFECT.  I wanted to keep everything nice but that is so unrealistic when you have 4 other people and two dogs living with you.

iKeith works closely with some people from the Huntsville Office and we went to dinner with them.  I had a lovely time and they forced wanted me to do a couple shots.  I told them that I'm a Mommy and I don't do shots but they insisted.  They were kind of good.  Jennifer told me that she's a neat freak and her house looks like a magazine. For a moment, I daydreamed about what that must be like and then I remembered how much I love my family and decided I'm be really lonely because for me to live like that I'd have to live alone.

Hopefully, today...we'll find out if we got the apartment we wanted.  There are 18 days until the truck leaves the state with my belongings and I feel like I'm doing pretty well.  I've been packing up things I don't use all the time and questioning why I have it if I don't use it all the time but I just can't let go of my crockpot and fondue pot collections.  Or my 3 extra sets of dishes. 

This move has proven to me that iKeith has hoarder tendencies and I know that he got them from his mother.  I found a power cord in our closet and I laid it on the dresser for him to see.  He told me that it goes to a lap top that he no longer owns and then he put it in his nightstand drawer.

WTF??  If it goes to a lap top that you NO LONGER OWN...then it is TRASH!  This is why I can't get him to go through boxes and let things go.  I need a professional.  I'm calling Oprah!

My hair hates Utah and I was tired of the dry, frizzy ends so I got it cut.  It's now an A-line Bob with the longest layer hitting just under my chin.   I think it looks really cute on me.  Mallory hates it and Alex told me that I have *Mom Hair*.  Which must be true because a little boy thought I was his Mommy at the movie theater Saturday night.

We saw Inception and it is amazing!  You really have to pay attention and I don't advise drinking two glasses of Chardonnay right before you see it.  You just might miss parts of it and then have to have them explained to you on the drive home.  The buzz is that this movie will be nominated for an Oscar for Movie of the Year.  It also made 60 Million over the weekend.  See it.  You won't be disappointed.

For those of you that have been following the saga of my fat lip.  After all of the allergy testing and dental work...it's still swollen.  It has now been a year since the bee sting and I still have a fat lip.  It's not quite as bad as it was 4 months ago so I'm hoping that it's starting to go away for good.  I'm so tired of the way it has altered my appearance and I was considering getting restiline in my bottom lip so that they would match and I would look more like Angelina Jolie.

I Promise....

A few months after iKeith and I met and fell in love...we decided to buy a house together. Keith had always put off buying a house because he was waiting to meet someone that he wanted to marry.

The wait was over.

We found our dream house and Keith said he wanted to ask me to marry him but now he didn't have a lot of money left over for a ring. I told him a big ring wasn't important to me and that the house meant more of a commitment to me than anything.

We thought that we were going to live in his house for a very long time and grow old(er) there. Three years later we moved to Utah....I should have gotten a bigger ring.

While we were waiting for closing iKeith decided that we should go to Dallas so he could meet my parents. It was our first road trip together and we did great...no fighting or anything. Although there was an unfortunate Slim Jim incident.

It was early December,  my Dad was away on business and got stuck in a snow storm and couldn't make it home so iKeith asked for my hand in marriage over the phone. We were touring the wax museum in Dallas with my Mom when iKeith dropped to one knee in front of Bill Clinton (i have a little crush on him) and asked me to be his wife.

At the end of the museum tour there was a store where you could have your picture taken and put into the bodies of other people. 

This is us...engaged!

And a few months later....on a sunny July Day, my Dad gave me away for the last time and we were married in the backyard of our dream home. 

As a wedding gift to iKeith I made a list of things that I promised to do as his wife.   I came across it this week while I was packing and I'm going to give it to him again today.

I promise to be supportive.

I promise to make you laugh.

I promise to warm you when you're cold.

I promise to learn new things with you.

I promise to buy peanut butter and pickles.

I promise to be your best friend.

I promise to be naughty.

I promise to stand up for you and our marriage.

I promise to be a good mother to our children.

I promise to be dependable.

I promise to appreciate everything you do for our family.

I promise to be optimistic.

I promise to help make our dreams come true.

I promise to care for you when you are sick.

I promise to record Y&R every day.

I promise to honor you.

I promise to accept you as you are.

I promise to love you.

This was our first dance song....and I had Come What May inscribed inside iKeith's wedding ring.  Funny how this is the perfect song for us.

Bright Lights, Big City...Be Careful

I just read a post about the social media app called Foursquare that scared the heck out of me.

Read Shea Sylvia's post here.

I tweet, foursquare and whrrl all the time. I have felt very safe doing that...at least I do in Utah. Reading Shea's post has made me think twice about doing this once I move to Denver. The big city is a scary place and there are lots of scary people.

I think I'll be protecting my tweets and stop posting my location on foursquare because as much as I enjoy social media...I enjoy feeling safe more and the safety of my kids is very important to me.

It's time for me to be more careful.

Wordless Wednesday

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

To accomplish great things we must first dream, then visualize, then plan... believe... act!

~ Alfred A. Montapert ~

When iKeith and I were dating we talked a lot about dreams. He loved being a computer program designer but he was growing tired of doing the same things all the time. He told me he had worked in Downtown Denver once and loved it. Once the iPhone came out he started learning to write apps and decided he'd love to be doing it for a living.

I've always felt so lucky that iKeith made my dreams come true...being a wife and stay at home mom was all I've ever wanted.  I have a great life and it all began when I met Keith.

I'm also a woman of action and I'd rather do than sit and think about things.  I also love to support my husband whenever I can and seeing his dreams come true has been my goal for a long time now.

I knew his career as an Engineer with the space program was going to be short lived and I started asking iKeith what he really wanted to do when our stint in Utah was done.  He said he wanted to program again and make apps for iPhones and iPads.  And he wanted to live in Denver.  Denver is home.

I encouraged him to attend the Apple World Wide Developers Conference so that he could learn all he could and make some contacts.  Before we left for San Francisco I found his old friend and colleague Dave on twitter and I started stalking following him.  When we checked into our hotel in California I saw a tweet from Dave that he was in a bar a few blocks away and he ran over to find him.  (my stalking skills from high school still serve me well)

Keith and Dave hadn't seen each other in five years but they caught up quickly and we found out that Dave's company was going to be hiring....and he was an app developer.  Dave got us into the party that his company was throwing and Keith was able to meet Dave's boss and express his interest in joining his team.

Yesterday, iKeith accepted the job offer and will now be a part of the Double Encore design team!  I'm sworn to secrecy as to the project he's going to be working on...but it's so cool and iKeith is so excited! And his office....across from Coors Field in Downtown (actually LOWER Downtown) Denver.

All of iKeith's dreams come true....because of my perseverance and the power of prayer and twitter!

I also found out yesterday that my friend Monica is moving to Virginia in 2  3-4 weeks.  We arrived in Utah at the same time and met in the hotel in Ogden.  She was my first friend here and it was always so nice to have her to talk to about the challenges of living in Utah...because she was going through it too.  I joked with Monica that it's as if we've been in prison for 3.5 years and we're both being released for good behavior!

We've already experienced some blessings and I'm hopeful that our move to Denver will go quickly....which really, I don't have a choice because we're leaving Utah in our rearview mirror in 22 days!

I want to thank all of you that have prayed and thought positive thoughts for us over the last year as we've dealt with the threats of layoff, changes and uncertainty!  I can't imagine going through this without the support of my friends.  Thank you for your friendship, your positive comments and caring about my family.

And now...I have some packing to do!

Here We Go!

It's 3am and I can't sleep.

iKeith received an offer from The Dream Job!  We are very excited but also worried because it's a pay cut....and we have very little wiggle room in our budget.  We spent hours last night trying to figure stuff out and also figure out where we're going to live.

Now you know why I can't sleep. 

My brother in law is going to look at the perfect apartment for us tomorrow.  It's a place that I wanted to live when I was single and Bobbi and I even looked at them once.  It's right next to the place we wanted to live when we thought we couldn't have kids and within walking distance to Little India, Whole Foods, a liquor store and Michaels.  Of course I won't be able to shop anymore....

It's also 10 minutes away from Nana and Poopa and it has a pool.  The kids are thrilled!

The other thing that is keeping me up at night is the fact that iKeith needs to report for duty on August 9.  Which means that I have approximately 23 days to pack and move and I will miss Bobbi's birthday.  Oh, and I need to sell half of our stuff to pay for our move.

I need to get some sleep....

Denver, Broken Dreams and Love Lost

I'm going to try to do a post that will catch me back up and then I can return to my regularly scheduled programing...whatever that is. Coming Soon: The Connie Diaries: Summer 1987 Edition!

Our trip to Denver was last minute and super fun! We decided to take a 4 day weekend, visit our favorite city and check out the house that we were planning to move into.

Some of you were confused how we already had a place picked out...our plan was to move in with my Bother in Law (his new nickname due to a typo) because he was in the process of remodeling a 3 bedroom townhouse and his roommate had backed out. It was going to work out great!

This is no longer our plan.  Sadly, there is just not enough room for us there and after being in the house 20 minutes with Andre (Rob's Cat) poor Alex had a huge allergic reaction and spent the rest of the evening with swollen eyes and a headache.  We can't live there.

Speaking of allergies...I've confirmed that Mallory is allergic to dogs.  Poor thing was stuffed up so badly from being around the two Pomeranians that my in laws have and one of them bit her face while we were out to dinner.  I vacuum twice a day at home to keep the allergies at bay.

We had a great time in Denver!  Keith needed a new pair of Teva's so we spent some time at Dick's Sporting Goods and Alex rode a cool bike all around the store...while Mallory found some cool sunglasses that she liked.  We ate lunch at our favorite fast food joint (Good Times Burgers) and went to the Denver Aquarium again.  The kids love that place!

We stopped by Invesco Field and got Alex his first Bronco Hat and I got a jersey to wear when I watch the games this year, now I just need to find out who this Hillis guy is. (EDITED: Payton Hillis is cute!!  And old enough to be my love child)   Keith is really excited because after 8 years of being a Season Ticket Holder...they upgraded his seats and they are in a great location!

We had thought about taking the kids to Casa Bonita for lunch but decided against it...but we stopped by to vist the fountain on our way through town.

Uncle Andrew stayed home with the kids Saturday night while the rest of us when out to dinner.  In the years that we've been in Utah...our favorite Indian Restaurant moved and then closed.  We were really bummed until I discovered that Little India had opened in Belmar and we can now say that we have a favorite Indian place again.  Fabulous food, great service and yummy wine!  I tried Butter Chicken for the first time and it was fabulous!

Sunday morning I escaped and met my lovely friend Denise from Eat Play Love for breakfast.  She suggested a place that I am now in love with.  It's called Snooze and it's located just a few blocks from Coors Field (Go Rockies).  Click HERE to see pictures of the inside....it was so cool!  I adore Eggs Benedict and most times when I eat out if it's on the menu I'll order it because I NEVER make it at home.  This place does several versions of Eggs Benedict and we found out later that you can customize your order and get two different ones.  Denise and I both ordered the Bella Benny (not named for Twilight) and it was amazing!  Thin slices of prosciutto, brie cheese, and perfectly poached eggs on an english muffin...topped with cream cheese hollandaise sauce, balsamic glaze and arugula!  Snooze also has a full bar so I had the most amazing spicy bloody mary!

I spent the rest of the day relaxing, reading Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (I love this book!) while the men smoked meat.  We missed the fireworks because of thunderstorms but the kids were too tired anyway.  All in an all...a great 4th of July and trip.

Job Update:

Still haven't heard anything from The Dream Job...they seem interested in Keith and we're hoping that they are taking their time because they know that we're planning to move back at the end of summer.

Word on the street is that N.ASA may be regretting the decision to cancel Constellation (or they are realizing that they can't because Congress has to approve it) and there is a chance that they will just rename the project.  BIG SIGH  We can't take much more of this back and forth and after what I learned yesterday....I don't want my husband involved with NASA anymore.

NASA administrator Charlie Bolden gave an interview to al-Jazeera recently and he's quoted as saying that Obama had three objectives for him when he took the job.

One, he wanted me to help re-inspire children to want to get into science and math; (by CANCELING the space program) he wanted me to expand our international relationships; (by giving away our lead in space to China and Russia) and third, and perhaps foremost, he wanted me to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science, math, and engineering.

Reading about this development sent chills down my spine. It's time to pray hard...America is in trouble. My heart hurts because of what is happening with NASA and the space program.  Dreams, livelihoods and the future of our country are falling apart.

The Bachelorette:

I'm bored out of my mind.  I don't think Ali really likes any of these guys and neither do I.  Chris reminds me of a Golden Retriever and I just want him to roll over on his back and let her scratch his belly.  I just don't SEE anything between her and any of the guys.  I guess if I had to pick someone I'd say she's going to end up with Roberto.

 As for The Wrestler...good riddance!  I hope ABC paid that girl a pretty penny for handing over her voice mails.  What a douche!  I liked Ty...but as soon as he said that he and his wife broke up because she had ambition and he wanted a traditional marriage....I knew he wasn't the one for her.

I hope that we've now seen the last of Jake and Vienna.  I never want to see Vienna's stupid face again.  And gosh Jake...why weren't you calling Vienna's creepy Dad?  I think Jake is fake and nothing like the guy we first saw on Jillian's season.

Speaking of Jillian....oh crap.  She and my Ed have broken up.  I hope he didn't break her heart too badly.

Are We There Yet?

Almost there..80 more miles!

iKeith hasn't gotten an offer yet but we're confident it's coming soon.

On this trip we'll be checking out the house we'll be moving into. We have to figure out how much of our furniture will fit.

Denver Bound!

Focus on the Family: July 2010

Family Time....quality time together.

* Family Outings (hiking, bookstore, movie, bowling)
* Celebrate Independence Day
* Family Trip to Denver
* Movie Night


Kid Time....play and preschool.

* Go to Baby Animal Farm
* Get a library card
* Computer Time
* Practice writing letters
* Write letters to Grandparents


Me Time....cuz if Mama ain't happy....

* Read Naturally Thin by Bethenny Frankel 
* Read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
* Restart The Shred
* Girls Night Out before Shannon's Baby arrives.


Couple Time....all because two people fell in love.

* Celebrate our 7th Wedding Anniversary without getting pregnant.


Home Time....it's where the heart is.

* Declutter and plan for possible imminent move


Gratitude:

This month I'm thankful that Keith and I were able to get away for a little vacation together. When you have small children and life is stressful,  it's hard to really connect with your partner. The every day gets in the way and next thing you know it's been weeks months since you've made love watched Young and the Restless or had a really good conversation with each other. I hope that no matter where our path leads...we'll always be able to take a little vacation and reconnect with each other. I think it's really important for all parents.

Wish You Were Here...

Yesterday...my Internet went out for a couple hours. I spent the day working on my to-do list, playing with the kids and reading.

It felt good to unchain myself from my desk and iPad (I have the wifi version) and be more in the moment.

I took a lot of pictures.

I have a new favorite summer drink...working on a name for it, but it's the juice of half a lime, Sprite and lots of ice.

Why We Will Never be on The Amazing Race

For weeks Alex has wanted to climb the hill.  The hill is a little dirt path that Keith and Alex found last year near the Ogden River Parkway path.

Alex has never forgotten the hill.

We decided that Saturday would be the perfect day for a little family outing...breakfast, a walk along the river, climb the hill and as a bonus...we'd try to find our first (and last) geocache!  We started with one that was located at the MTC Ogden Botanical Gardens and was rated easy.

We looked and checked the GPS and sat on a bench and looked.  We looked from the backside and we looked up and we looked down.  iKeith dismantled a stone bench and we still didn't find the cache so we gave up.

The next thing I wanted to look for was a letterbox.  It was called The Arboretum and our clue was

The park entrance is at1750 Monroe Blvd. Park in the lot and find the paved asphalt trail which parallels the Ogden River. Walk toward the east. Leave the trail at the definite bend to the left at the 1/4 mile sign (about 0.4 mile from the parking lot). Walk through the large cottonwood trees on the south side of the trail and find A.A. Bennett’s tree. Then find W.L. Bennett’s tree. Then find SSgt Williams’ three small pines (two bristlecones and one Ponderosa).

The Arboretum letterbox is hiding in the branches of the Ponderosa pine. There are benches in the vicinity to sit on while stamping in.

After having trouble finding the Geocache...iKeith wasn't in the best mood to find the Letterbox and made me trapse around every single cottonwood tree that we came across. I knew where I thought the bend in the trail was but he wouldn't listen to me.

He commented that we should just walk and enjoy the scenery but I explained to him that I'm a Type A person and I need a goal and things to do while I'm hiking so that I feel like I'm accomplishing something.  This is why I thought these treasure hunting activities would be great for me. He rolled his eyes.

The boys hiked the hill while Mallory did this.  She wanted to go home.

Finally...we were able to search for the letterbox.  Here is a vlog of our adventure.  This is also proof that Keith and I should never attempt to go on The Amazing Race together.  We can barely survive looking for treasure and I'm pretty sure he was ready to throttle me when we were done.

Drinking Game while watching my vlog:

Take a sip of your drink each time I say:

• 3 pine trees
• Ponderosa
• Spider

Geocaching is a lot of fun and a good way to sharpen your GPS navigation skills. It's actually modern treasure hunting, except you don't get to keep what you find. With geocaching, you find the "treasure" and replace it with something else. Then you take what you find and place it in another cache. The item is usually some sort of collectible of minor actual value. Very helpful (or not) iPhone App.

Letterboxing is growing hobby that combines elements of hiking, treasure hunting and creative expression into an activity that the whole family can enjoy. Participants seek out hidden letterboxes by following clues that are posted on the Internet , and then record their discovery in their personal journal with the help of a rubber stamp that's part of the letterbox. In addition, letterboxers have their own personal stamps which they use to stamp into the letterbox's log book.

Blast from the Past

I guess some of you are wondering what happened to me.

I've been working on my little project: Operation Move That House. Or something like that.  Yesterday I decided to tackle my craft supplies.  I discovered that I have more fabric and felt than any one person should have and that I thought at one time that I was going to open a stamping store.

I had lots of hard decisions to make regarding my crafting future and purged lots of stuff. I know I love to quilt and make pillows so I kept most of the sewing stuff. And the stamping supplies because you never know....

I also got my new iPhone 4 yesterday and I had to spend some time getting to know my new friend.  I love it...by the way.  And it will probably be my last new toy since soon...my standard of living will be lowered. 

While decluttering yesterday, I came across a photo album from 1994-1995.  It only had a handful of pictures but the one's I saw made memories flood back.

I thought I had destroyed gotten rid of all of the pictures of my ex-husband but this one was hiding out in the album.  This was taken right after I met him and it appears we were at a red neck UFO convention sponsored by Coors Light.

I don't talk about my marriage to Billy very much because it was a really dark,  hard time in my life.  There were times that I didn't think I could live through it and I wanted to end it all.  I thought I was stuck....until the stars aligned and everything fell in place for me to leave and start a new life.

That was 10 years ago.....

Seeing these pictures prompted me to google his name and I was shocked at everything that came up!  Since I saw him at the Las Vegas Airport in the last year he has:

• Applied for a marriage license (but not married).
• Been arrested for Assault in the 3rd degree, menacing and child abuse.
• Re-arrested for violating his restraining order.
• Fathered a baby boy named Charlie.
• Graduated from a community college with a certificate in welding.

And 10 days ago...his baby mama was arrested for contempt.   I had that in spades for him...thank god no one ever caught me!!

I'm counting my lucky stars that I got away from him when I did.  And I'm so sad for little Charlie...2 1/2  months old and his Mom was in jail.

Today...I'm hitting the town with Shannon, Sara to have some drinks (milk for Shannon...she's 8 months pregnant) and see a movie.  I'm completely disgusted that Sex and The City 2 is not long playing in many theaters!  Whatever...

Muddy Feet

There's a boy in the bucket

Dear Liza, Dear Liza

There's a boy in the bucket

Dear Liza...a boy

iKeith's phone interview went great yesterday and they want him to have a second interview (maybe today at 5pm tomorrow at 9am) with another guy! Keep praying and thinking happy thoughts for us!

The Bachelorette: Suicide Watch

The Bachelorette is starting to feel like The Amazing Race meets The Love Connection! Bobbi and I got a little drunk last night because we decided to add a new line to the drinking game.

Every time Kasey says HEART...take a swig of your drink.

Good thing we were drinking Mountain Dew! After the show aired last night some rather upsetting fabulous news broke on twitter. Jake and Vienna have broken up.  I'm guessing that she hasn't become a big star after becoming engaged to Jake and he got tired of her being a tramp.

I wanted to post pictures but ABC is being a jerk and hasn't posted any on their website.  If they do...I'll add them later.

Dear ABC,

This is the second time you've sent a Bachelorette to the frozen tundra and I don't like it one bit.  There are a number of reasons that this troubles me beginning with the ugly hats and parka's that are impossible to pin a rose on, the inevitable extremity (wink wink) shrinkage from the guys going from the hot springs to the freezing cold temperatures to the frozen roses.  Also...dates on donkeys...really?  Poor Craig.

P.S. Thank you for the subtitles on Kasey during the reading of the shitty poetry.
P.P.S. No amount of money that Iceland Tourism paid you will make me what to go there.  Or Turkey.
P.P.P.S. If Justin *Rated R for Ruffian* is the next bachelor...I'm not watching.

Dear Chris Harrison,

Please talk to your people at ABC and tell them these freezing cold locations make for the most unromantic dates ever.  Also...guys writing poetry is lame unless they are doing it of their own accord.

P.S. You're no Dr. Phil.

Dear Chris L,

Dr. Seuss called and he wants his poem back.  I was really impressed that after realizing that riding the donkey wasn't your strong suit...that you found a way to stand out to Ali.  Going in the hole first and then giving her your gloves was a great gesture. I think you will make someone a very good husband someday.

P.S. You are still a bad kisser.

Dear RoBEARto,

Where the heck were you during this episode?   I really like you and I missed you.

P.S. I think you are too hot for Ali.

Dear Frank,

Your poem was very dramatic and heartfelt....too bad it looked like you were copying Kirk. I think it shows huge potential that after getting scolded by Ali, you had an AHA moment and are now on a mission to be Ali's man. This trait is very important in a husband.

P.S. Loved seeing your evil side trying to convince Krazy Kasey to show Ali his tattoo!
P.P.S. I thought it was funny that Ali likes that you think she's smart.

Dear Ty,

Look at you...all take charge cowboy, outdoorsman!  That is very sexy and why Bobbi is now on Team Ty...she's making a shirt and everything.  Love that you got the frozen rose for being a stand up guy.

Dear Kirk,

Loved your poem and that it earned you the one on one date.  I also loved that you have a silly side that was willing to goof off and try on ladies sweaters.  Something tells me that your guilty pleasure is wearing your girlfriend's underwear.  I hope that Ali doesn't have to be vaccinated from your infectious joy for life and your mold poisoning.

P.S.  You inspire me NOT to wear matching sweaters with my husband.
P.P.S. Your sweater looked very pretty on you at the rose ceremony.

Dear Craig,

Your poem was very funny, I really liked it a lot.  And when you rode the donkey...you even got it to trot.  You've made a great impression even though you get lame dates. I have to say the hand drawn tattoo...it really took the cake!

P.S. Why doesn't everyone call you The Lawyer?

Dear Justin,

I don't know what happened this episode...but I don't like you anymore.  I don't really care for your wrestler persona and when you were systematically bullying (it's a real thing...just ask Kelly) Kasey I found it really inappropriate and sad.

P.S. Wearing Ali like a championship belt is not okay.


Dear Krazy Kasey,

I think the reason we can't understand what you're saying is because you have a tiny mouth or you stuck your tongue to a frozen pole as a child.  You're a bit of a wack a doodle and your obsession with loving Ali and protecting her heart is a little....too much.  I felt like the guys needed to put you on suicide watch once you found out that you were going on a date with The Wrestler.  The fact that you love pain, love to love, love to give and love to share makes me think a restraining order is in your future.

P.S. You came, you sang, you got a tattoo!
P.P.S. I don't think your Mom is going to love that tattoo and she might want to have you committed.

Dear Ali,

I couldn't help but think that when Kirk was telling you his incredibly long story about his illness that he lost you along the way and you were thinking about shoes. I'm glad you pulled it out in the end and gave him the rose.  I was also happy to see you scolding Frank for not paying enough attention to you.  Something tells me you'd have to do this in real life too.

P.S.  Don't worry about the guy you pick not loving you back...I believe their contract with ABC requires them to love you for at least 6 months.

P.P.S. Totally sucks that you had to leave Kasey for dead (he did say this was Do or Die) on the top of that glacier...but it was the right choice for you, for him...and for America.


Dear Chris N,

Oh Em Gee...your poem sucked.  It was like you weren't even trying and you just randomly tried to come up with stuff.  And then when you were finally getting some airtime talking to Ali and you were so awkward and saying weird stuff like...my guilty pleasure is Mexican Food instead of say...gambling or wearing woman's pantyhose.  I still can't believe that you went in for a hug.  What was entirely believable was when you were in the limo and you were at a loss for words.

Next week:  The gang goes to Turkey and there is drama!

Alternate Post Titles:

• Kiss My Ast*
• Spelunking for Love
• Pin the Rose on the Parka
• Thank You for Being You...a Wack A Doodle
• How am I Supposed to Guard Your Heart From Here?

*Ast is Icelandic for Love