I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why
Can't be late, I leave in plenty of time
Shakin hands with the clock
I can't stop
I'm on a roll and I'm ready to rock
This has been my theme song...forever.
I have a checklist in my head that must be completed and it needs to be done now.
The subject of time has been on my mind constantly this week.
At first it was regret, time wasted on a year of Kindergarten that has to be re-done. Time that I lost sending him to school everyday when he could have been home with me. On Thursday, I was ready to pull him out of school for the year and say f**k it. But there are only 20 days of actual school left and we have fun things coming up. Like Field Day....I'm the coordinator.
On Saturday night, I was deep in thought and writing in Alex's journal. I was trying to explain our choice in a way that he'd understand when he reads it someday; when he's an adult. I wanted him to know how much we wanted the best for him.
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks!
By having him go to Kindergarten again, I'm giving all of us the gift of time.
Another year to learn and grow.
Another year with him at my table, on my couch....under my roof.
Another year to be a family before he heads off into the world and starts his own life.
Another year to be WITH him.
I was so worried about what he'd be missing out on....that I forgot about everything we'd be gaining.